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EXPERT: Q&A WITH STEPHANIE MANES C.S.W

By Team Splitsville | November 14, 2014 | 0 replies


What did you have for breakfast this morning? 
Oatmeal and scrambled eggs (gulped down somewhere along the way) 
What is your favorite color? 
Something that looks like grass
What is the best break up song ever? 
Rachel Yamagata has a few goods ones
What is your favorite movie of all time? 
That's such an unfair question and depends on the day you ask it -- like a mood ring.  Today I'll say An Angel at my Table (Jane Campion)
Are you divorced? 
Yes (and remarried)
If so, what was the defining moment you "knew" it was over? 
The truth is that it isn't "over " -- it's just that we reached a point where we realized the form had to change.  The irony is that when we felt really secure in our friendship -- something we got to from really effortful couples therapy -- I think we felt safe enough to let go of the marriage.  When the marriage ended, a deeper friendship took off.
If you could tell your son or daughter one thing about marriage now, what would it be? 
Err on the side of listening to doubts you have about jumping in ... I've never met a divorced person who didn't wish they hadn't assumed it was something wrong with them rather than something wrong with the match.
Would you marry again ?
I already did!
If so, why? 
I still believe in the profound commitment, and I finally met someone who I am always interested to know more about, who is always the most handsome man in the room (in my eyes)  and who makes me feel thoroughly loved
What did you think the minute you heard about Splitsville?.... 
I thought, finally! A place where we don't have to pathologize the whole thing, and sink into the tragic.  There's an optimism about it, and a way that it speaks to resilience.  Things are heavy enough -- a little humor goes a long way!

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