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THE MONOGAMY TRAP

By Sandra Tsing Loh / The Atlantic | December 1, 2014 | 1 replies


How hard and boring it is to be faithful? Sandra Tsing Loh weighs in on The Atlantic.

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  • REASONPASSION While I don't use the term much anymore, I live a life of polyamory, or "many loves." This is a life of committed, dedicated, living with any number of people in line with the level of comfort and needs being met for all concerned. Introspection or self-knowledge or "owning my shit" is very much required, as is a certain degree of emotional intelligence, because let's face it, in any situation there are all sorts of emotions arising that can lead to unhealthy and unhelpful outward behaviors. Rather than focusing on the creation of particular forms of relationship though, I dwell in the space of what emerges with each connection. Relationships are not floating entities that we grab from the air, they're forms emerging from the interplay of those involved. The "monogamy trap" is first and foremost about getting caught up in the notion that any connection must conform to a particular relationship dynamic. As if 6 billion people in the world all live their lives exactly the same way. Figuring out that form comes second and is always about those involved frees us up to be the expressive creatures we truly are. 3 years ago
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