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  • want2bhappy First post. Not sure where to start. I'm filing for divorce. He wanted to get all the money stuff talked about, so after many hours... it boils down to he doesn't think I deserve half of the agreed upon shared assets. I'm not seeking alimony. He said it is all of his sweat and blood that earned the money that paid for everything. Also stated that if I ask for 50% (which is legal split for our state) it will put him in financial ruin. Instead, he is keeping the house-which I do not want (with a mortage due), a vacation house (paid for with previously mentioned mortage), a vehicle that is paid for. I will get a 1/4 of the value of those, plus a car with payments due. We have left out his precious boat, my savings, retirement and his ss. Any thoughts? I am so in the dark with finances that this part is really hard for me. Thank you... 9 years ago   *   6 replies
    • TIMBUKTU Really hard Google jeff landers - bedrock divorce - he helps women with these kinda of things. At very least, u can read his blog. 9 years ago
    • RAN You really can't trust your husband. Don't take financial advice or analysis from him. No matter how fair-minded he has been in the past, or seems to be now. I mean, there's two houses, a boat, you both have accounts, you've already said you don't want alimony… his talking about financial ruin is hyperbolic and manipulative. Don't and settle all this directly with your husband. If your lawyer (and his) don't seem comfortable dealing with division of these multiple assets, and can't make it sound fair to you, then have your lawyer hire a divorce financial analyst. They are used to dealing with sensitive and emotional situations and complex finances. (Is there a business currently owned by you or him that also needs valuation? They can do that, because they're usually CPAs.) You can sell the idea to your husband by telling him that they are also trained to/experienced with reviewing everything with an eye on minimizing tax implications for both of you. 9 years ago
      • want2bhappy Ran, That first statement is a hard one to get used to..since I have been with him more than half my life. But, I am realizing it and am working on standing on my own two feet. I will rock the hell out of this! There are no lawyers involved, we really don't have the money for them and if we did, we would up spending what little we are fighting over on said lawyers. (vicious circle) Thank you for your input. Things have settled down a bit since I now have a move out date, I think it is starting to sink in. We have a couple rounds of paperwork to get through, before he needs to figure out how he is going to get the money to be "fair". 9 years ago
      • metoday2015 yup 9 years ago
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