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  • Brasko Here it goes. I have been married to my wife for 11 years, together for 13. I'm 39 and we have a 5-year-old girl. I don't think I've ever been in love with her, I've liked her and I still do in a number of ways: she is about the best person I've met in my life, and she sure is a wonderful mother. But I've never really loved her. Sex has always been mediocre and unfulfilling with her. I don't even like the way she kisses. She's cute and I feel I should have deeper feelings for her, but I just don't. She is just not the right person for me. We're so different on so many levels...she's very religious and I'm basically an agnostic (although I did get baptized and keep attending church with her every week). I have this nagging feeling that I've been faking it for so long, I don't even know who I truly am anymore. I'm just constantly bored to death with her. I met someone online a couple of months back (she lives far away) and what started as a friendship has turned into something much deeper. We talk for hours about everything, and even our sexting has been 1000 times more satisfying than real sex with my wife. She makes me feel alive, desired, and loved in ways that my wife simply doesn't. This made me realize I should get out of my marriage, not necessarily because of this new woman (although I've certainly loved to start a real relationship with her) but because I deserve. And quite frankly, my wife deserves someone who truly loves her as well. We are just getting old together in this gray, boring, and soul-sucking way, it's simply not right. I've been seriously thinking about getting a divorce for about a year, and I think I've finally reached a point where it's going to happen. I don't know how to start the conversation, how to tell her all this. I just want out and don't want to hurt her or my little girl...but I just can't go on like this much longer. 7 months ago   *   3 replies
    • hairymary If you're already sexting someone else I'd say either be honest (and/) or leave the relationship! You're basically cheating already and it ISN'T fair. Tell her it's not fair...maybe go to counseling/ hire a mediator. Tell her you didn't know yourself well enough to know you weren't ever in love with her but thought you were. That you do admire things about her person but that's it....and you need to end things to save what you can to be amicable to each other for your child rather than let it turn into crazy deep resentment. That you can each be happier apart...? Good luck. I'm sorry that's happening. 5 months ago
    • hairymary Be aware it's not fair if she's been staying home with the kid ...and doesn't have a leg to stand on....to just take no responsibility financially because you aren't happy. The right thing would be to still give her enough time to get on her feet if she can't afford to now. Being at home with the kid is hard work but can not really find a job with that as your experience it seems...Either way you need to still help financially support the child in the least. Even if your [soon-to-be-ex?] has a great career. 5 months ago
    • TDOG i just saw this quote above "When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. - Helen Rowland" 5 months ago
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