-
Brasko
Here it goes. I have been married to my wife for 11 years, together for 13. I'm 39 and we have a 5-year-old girl. I don't think I've ever been in love with her, I've liked her and I still do in a number of ways: she is about the best person I've met in my life, and she sure is a wonderful mother. But I've never really loved her. Sex has always been mediocre and unfulfilling with her. I don't even like the way she kisses. She's cute and I feel I should have deeper feelings for her, but I just don't. She is just not the right person for me. We're so different on so many levels...she's very religious and I'm basically an agnostic (although I did get baptized and keep attending church with her every week). I have this nagging feeling that I've been faking it for so long, I don't even know who I truly am anymore. I'm just constantly bored to death with her. I met someone online a couple of months back (she lives far away) and what started as a friendship has turned into something much deeper. We talk for hours about everything, and even our sexting has been 1000 times more satisfying than real sex with my wife. She makes me feel alive, desired, and loved in ways that my wife simply doesn't. This made me realize I should get out of my marriage, not necessarily because of this new woman (although I've certainly loved to start a real relationship with her) but because I deserve. And quite frankly, my wife deserves someone who truly loves her as well. We are just getting old together in this gray, boring, and soul-sucking way, it's simply not right.
I've been seriously thinking about getting a divorce for about a year, and I think I've finally reached a point where it's going to happen. I don't know how to start the conversation, how to tell her all this. I just want out and don't want to hurt her or my little girl...but I just can't go on like this much longer.