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  • CELESTIA Hi all! I’m new. I live in the UK. I’ve been married 15 years. Two kids aged 10 & 8. I decided this time last year I wasn’t happy and that I wanted out of the relationship. He worked away for years in end realised I was happier and less stressed when he want around. We have decided to split the childcare 50/50 but we are at loggerheads over finances. He’s very money minded. He’s on a massive salary and has a huge pension. I have been a full time Mum for 10 years so sacrificed my career. He feels it can only be a 50/50 split of finances however if it went to court they would look may the vast differences in our financial situation. It would be better for me to stay in the family home if I can. I have no money of my own. I’m about to start a part time low paid job to get back into the world of work. He thinks I should leave the house as I was the one who decided it was over. I have a new partner. He doesn’t like the house. I don’t know what to do for the best. The family home is very very tired. Wondering whether a fresh start is what I need. We are still living under the same roof. Completely ridiculous situation. He refuses to leave until we have a financial agreement in place. No idea what to do next. I can’t even afford to see my solicitor. 10 months ago   *   4 replies
    • HappySouL Hi Celestia. Firstly, welcome. And so pleased you took a step in the right direction for the 2nd half of your life. Seeing as you have been home, your husband would have to pay you spousal support. Even though you now have a new job, you are still entitled to that. IF he wants you to leave the house, you are entitled to half of the value of it (less the mortgage owing). So if he does want you to leave, and you feel a fresh start would be best, then you are entitle to half. If you can get a little more custody of the kids (ie 61%), you will receive child support payments (and any child support payments paid by the government, would automatically go to you if you have majority of custody). Given you have been home with them all these years, It is not unreasonable to ask for more custody. This has been your full time job. I would recommend sitting down with mediator. They will go over both your rights, and come to an agreement with you both, without having to spend a huge load of $$$ on a lawyer. If you can come to an agreement, you can then have it notarized. And then there you are. Legally separated. Wishing you luck. This life is yours, and so are your decisions.. make the most of it! <3 10 months ago
    • didi768 That's funny. My husband has said that to me before too, that I should leave since I'm the one who wants out of the marriage. I can't be divorced because I don't have a job and have been out of work for some time ugh. I feel stuck and he doesn't want me to go anyway ugh, which make it even harder. All he does all day is google-eye me and stare at my legs. He is very passive. I want to find him someone else so bad it hurts. 10 months ago
      • HappySouL Hi Didi768! I have a friend in the same situation as you. As hard as it it, you need to get that job for yourself (easier said than done, I know). Start looking.. see what interests you. Being stuck is the worse feeling - and I can't imagine living your life 'stuck' is on your radar. Being employed will not only help with the finances, but also your self esteem and will only encourage that! You've go this life. Do all you can to achieve what you want :) Good luck! 9 months ago
    • SINGER777 Hi I have been in very similar situation to you, ex h said it's my decision so I should leave, I had no money being full time carer for kids, he closed our family bank account in June 17 and I stuck it out till sept finally had to leave I. Sept and I am now in with my mum kids are with me 50/50 shared care. I did get solicitor even without any money, you can pay them after your share of house proceed. It's £10,000 to date and final financial hearing is in 6-8 weeks. Moving out was a bad decision so please don't no matter what any tells you. Get an occupation order to get hubby out via solicitor. Good luck x 9 months ago
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