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  • ROB Hi all My wife had a brief fling last year, and I forgave her and want to move on. The reason she says is because she never got over me leaving her 8 yrs ago. The reason I left is because I didn't know what I wanted and instead of talking I walked out on her and 3 kids. I realised that it was her I wanted( and the kids obviously) and she took me back. She never gave up on me during the time we separated, but I did t have an affair or have anyone else, I just had a male mid life crisis I think. I love her so much, but she doesn't feel the same. Although she knows she doesn't want to be with anyone else, she doesn't know if she can love me the same way she did and the way she should. Has this happened to anyone else. I truly want to make this work and realised that the key to all relationships is communication. I hold myself to blame for her indiscretion as I know I hurt her so much. But can this be fixed if after 8m she still doesn't know how she feels about me. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks 2 years ago   *   8 replies
    • exhusband its not your fault. everyone is responsible for themselves. she has a major resentment. have you guys tried therapy? 2 years ago
      • ROB Hi Your right she does and she knows that and I understand that, but at some pint you've got to move on either mentally or physically surely. I just hate this feeling hanging on waiting for her to decide. She still works with this guy and considers him a friend as it was just sex no emotion. Which again I understand but what I don't think she gets is that by seeing this bloke never either of us move forward. I understand what I did wrong in the relationship and so does she, but she can't seem to decide what she wants. How do I help her, as by helping her I help myself. Don't I??? 2 years ago
        • LOVEISCRAZY Hey rob. I don't totally. It that it's about your midlife crisis 8 years ago. That's a long time ago, a lot has happened since then.. have you been 100% committed since then? I think she isn't being honest with herself and this can't articulate honestly to you want she needs/wants. I say give her space and let her go and throw yourself into your life . 2 years ago
          • LOVEISCRAZY Rob- meant... I don't totally BUY that.... 2 years ago
          • ROB She sAys I didnt come back the same person so she feels I wasn't 100% commuted. I admit I didn't come back the same, mainly because I knew what hurt I had caused but I did come back for her. I just need her to realise what she wants, she says if she wanted to go she would, but I just don't know why she can't let go of the past and move on with me. I know that if she can't move on then there's no point in being together as we will then resent each other. 2 years ago
    • TDOG i dont think you should be blaming yourself for her indiscretion. AT ALL... seems like there is an imbalance of power here. 2 years ago
      • ROB Hi guys I agree I have felt that I'm the one doing all the work when in fact she should be doing some repenting etc. but I suppose that shows how messed up she is. To be honest I have thought haft I would bd happier without this shit in my head all day long. But then I realise that the family weekends and holidays will be no more. It's just a mess and although we don't know each other talking to all of you does help, do thank you all. I guess we all know what will happen and what we should do, but it's being brave enough to do it!! 2 years ago
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