how do you deal with the guilt? i have been my spouse's whole world - and i have felt she has made me way too responsible for her feelings (a bigger problem in the relationship)..and now, with me seemingly leaving, she is dumping so much guilt and blame on me. an extremely intense amount. i have a great therapist and we have a couples' therapist (thank god - we desperately need an anchor) but the guilt, oh the guilt. we've only been married one year. but i recently had a profound realization within myself, as if i woke up to the big picture who's pieces I had felt but never seen as whole until now. a little background - we have a 14 year age gap and I have been with her since I was 20. I feel like I followed her feelings a bit in the beginning. I love her deeply but I feel like I believed I needed the relationship and now that I see I don't need it - I feel like for the first time I feel empowered enough to ask 'do i want it'. there are so many things i could say but it'd be a novel. basically, it would be easier if there were these tangible issues. i have googled for validation for leaving and found this site. i am being told i am completely selfish, that i am ruining her life, that i don't know shit about shit, that i'm a narcissist - all for actually being honest with my feelings and standing up for my own life. yes, it is shitty because it came out of nowhere for her. but i can't change my feelings. ok rant done. but the guilt!! seriously i feel so cornered by it. yes of course you don't want to hurt the other person but at what cost??