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  • Self doubt I am actually 43 and a female. Had trouble getti g the drop down to accept those selections! 5 months ago   *   3 replies
    • Becky I’m going through something very similar. Very similar. This really resonated with me. I think once you breathe that fresh air again it’s like wow. No emotional intimacy in my marriage either and it’s a huge thing to accept but I don’t think it’s something I want to go on living without. 5 months ago
      • Self doubt Hey BECKY. Thanks for responding. Good to know I'm not the only person going through this... and at the same time, sorry that youre going though this. The past few months have been so difficult. Im finally starting to feel more like myself. Able to cope with the loss of the other guy, but still with moments and days of sadness. I told my husband that i want to separate. Most of the time im pretty sure that i want too get divorced, but iam so afraid of fucking up, leaving a good man and a decent marriage, putting my kids through such challenges, having my kids live in 2 houses etc. I think that in the end i would be happier, but i feel selfish for making a change that impacts my kids that is for my benefit. So, we're in a holding pattern at home, waiting on my next move. Not sure if ican go through with it it not. Trying to accept myself and my feelings and give myself add much time as i need. I don't want to stay in my marriage just because it's easier. Argh.... 5 months ago
    • Confusedone Hi! I can't even tell you how much your story is similar to mine, although we have been together for 10 years and do not have kids. I NEVER would have imagined myself to have an affair, but I fell in love with a co-worker and here we are. We both told our spouses....I didn't have a choice in the matter and we are definitely over. Both of us are working to fix our marriages. I understand what you mean though about being scared not to feel what you did with your affair partner ever again. I am giving it time. It has been 6 months and I am trying to see if I can settle back in to my marriage. We are both trying, I just hope that it is what we both want. Sometimes I wonder if my expectations of what a marriage should be is off. Do you end up feeling this way no matter what relationship you are in after a certain amount of time. And geez, how depressing to know that my affair partner and I loved/love each other and can never be together? Just so sad. Ugh! 2 months ago
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