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  • confused I am thoroughly confused and I will try to make this brief. I am not attracted to my husband the same way he is to me and I am not sure I have ever been. We have been married for 11 years with 2 kids. Together for 18 years. He was the first stable decent guy I dated and was sweet and romantic and treated me right and I think I fell into this trap of thinking that this was as good as it was going to get for me. I loved him and he always gave me an orgasm but I never felt that "wanna rip his clothes off passion" for him. I always assumed something was wrong with me. We dated so long that I think I was too afraid to break it off and start over. We went through a really rough patch a couple years ago and he said some things I wasn't really able to forget. He can kind of be an ass when he is stressed. And I am sure that I can be a bitch. But when we have sex I realized I never want to look into his eyes - I always want to keep my eyes closes. And I hate just making out with him. I get bored just kissing him - it doesn't do anything for me. A couple weeks ago a divorced dad at school kissed me - no we are not starting an affair although we are attracted to each other - but I was more turned on by that kiss than I have been kissing my own husband. And it's not just recently. Most of the time I am good at burying my feelings about this - I have a pretty good life and if I am not head over heels in love with my husband I guess that's my lot in life. But this kiss has me thinking I deserve that passion. My husband knows there is something going on with me. He can sense that I am not as into him. He has always sensed it and I feel bad. 1 year ago   *   2 replies
    • KILaRa I could have written this one myself -- except for a few details, its almost exactly how I feel! Can anyone else relate and let us know if there is a light at the end of this tunnel?? 1 year ago
      • 10MICHELE62 Parts of this I could have written also. What I have figured out is that I can be in love or I can be in control, but I can't be both. I think, for me, being in control is more important. Sometimes, I think I would love to be crazy-in-love but know I would feel much too vulnerable, exposed and, of course, out of control - it's just not worth it to me. Besides, I'm really not capable of sustaining a truly intimate relationship for a variety of reasons so now I just need to figure out what areas I'm willing to "settle" on. I guess you just have to decide what is more important to you - being secure in a relationship of familiarity and boredom or risking it all for the possibility of passion with no promises or guarantees it will work out. Best of luck to both of you ladies. 1 year ago
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