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We ruined each other by being together. We destroyed each other’s dreams. - Kate Chisman

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  • inertia I can't believe there are/were so many people in the same situation as I am. I'm currently in the process of separating from my husband of 1 year after realizing that even after 9ish months of "trying" that I cannot stay with him due to lack of physical and emotional chemistry. He is my best friend and I do love him, but I haven't been in love with him for the majority (or at least half) of our 8 year relationship. I married him because I had no reason not to, and because I felt I "should" rather than actually wanting to. He was safe, comfortable. I hate that I did that. I chose intertia as my username bc I can't think of a better term for how I ended up here. I never addressed my gut feeling and my doubts over the last 4-5 years because they had no logical reasonings and I had many (what I thought was logical) reasons to stay. Looking back I can't believe how wrong I was. We tried to regain the romantic connection we had in the beginning, but the more we tried the worse I felt about how I was making him feel and how cruel I felt for essentially stringing him along. He's a great guy and he deserves more than I am able to give him. But I can't stop second guessing myself. Never thought I was afraid to be alone but I think I actually am. Trying to remember that in the end it will be worth it when we can both move on and be happy with people that are right for us, and hopefully we can eventually be friends again. 4 months ago   *   2 replies
    • SVONE 10000% had exact same experience. It's 6 years later and my ex-h has a lovely girlfriend who is so good to him and I have had a series of interesting and fulfilling relationships where I have been able to learn so much. 4 months ago
    • Lolo I have the same issue. Difference is that I went through 35 years of marriage. Basically spent all those years bringing up children, working etc. Had doubts before marriage and wish I had gone with my gut feeling to split up early on. I am told that the in love feeling disappears soon after. I never really had it and live with some regrets as divorce is messy the more assets you acquire together. 4 months ago
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