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  • brooklynblue i know deep deep down my marriage is cooked but the idea of disrupting the sweet family we have created makes me so ill. gotta say, i'd almost rather HE left me than be the one that pulls the trigger. something strangely easier to me about being the victim rather than the perpetrator. 3 years ago   *   8 replies
    • Spikebee It can be difficult, but what is right is right. If you can both agree to let the kids come first, it can work out. If one party (or two) is bitter it can be a real bummer for all. 3 years ago
    • SallyAlexis I understand this! I didn't want to pull the trigger either, but men will hang on until bitter end and act badly. I finally did it, and I am glad! but it is still sad on holidays. 3 years ago
      • brooklynblue my man didnt act badly, he just so wanted the fantasy of "us" to continue..... it was just so sad. how are old are your kids @SALLYALEXIS? 3 years ago
        • SallyAlexis My kids ate 23 and 20, a girl and boy respectively. Same thing here. He wanted to come to the house and hang with me and the kids like all was well, but didn't want to deal with the everyday crap. 3 years ago
        • plasterdust Good Lord it's tough to be a man, I was taught my whole life to endure until things worked out! How do people just flip the switch? Men and women alike? 2 years ago
    • ardentdreams If you stay for any reason BESIDES love then you will just continue down a road of misery. If it can be genuinely worked out then by all means! Maybe a getaway to literally get away from your current environment and see if in a more relaxing setting that details can be hashed out. If not then its time to end it. There's no sense in prolonging a relationship when the flame is out. 3 years ago
    • Unsure I've pondered this myself many times but I'm still not sure what to do..... 3 years ago
    • REASONPASSION While certainly "marriage" and "family" are two separate relational dynamics, to say that one is fractured while the other one is perfectly healthy sounds like there are things being ignored. At the very least, since both are occupying the same space, there is overflow between them, which means the pain and messiness of the marriage is effecting the proclaimed sweetness of the family. One of the most difficult things to come to terms with in connection to shifting any form of relationship is how it inevitably effects all the other connections in your life and has been effecting them longer and in more ways than currently acknowledged. Focusing only on one to the exclusion of others is not doing anyone any favors. 3 years ago
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