- Confusedone I told my husband about my affair almost 6 months ago. Some days feel like things will never get better, other days I think they will be and I think we will make it past all of this. For anyone who has experienced this....how long did it take: for the person cheated on to be able to trust your spouse to do things on their own again? Have girls nights? That kind of thing. I know I have to pay for my crimes, just wondering how long it takes people... Also, for the person who cheated. I still have feelings for my affair partner, but it is definitely over. Both of our spouses know and we are not allowed to communicate (even though we still work together every day.) It is hard seeing him and hearing his voice without getting sad. I want to make it work with my husband but how long does it take to move on from your affair partner? And helpful hints on how to do that??