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  • lateflower I'm in the beginning stages, have not filed for divorce yet but it's imminent. Meeting with different lawyers getting an idea of what ducks need to be in a row, timelines, etc. On the one hand I want a cutthroat lawyer who is going to help me get the most out of the financial arrangement-lest I forget that soon I'll be a single mom with two little kids. I've got to look out for myself, also. If I go down that path, I presume it will be harder and longer to get to a place of co-parenting afterwards that is civil. If I go with someone less aggressive I feel like I am selling myself short, which is kind of what this divorce is helping me work past in the bigger picture. When you're dealing with an ex who just isn't capable of addressing that you have needs, (again another major factor for the split) does being nice even matter at all (for the sake of the kids?) Anyone have an experience where they had aggressive representation and still managed to eventually get to a civil place with the ex? 1 year ago   *   5 replies
    • TDOG do you have your own income as well? you DEFINITELY want cordial co-parenting. 1 year ago
      • lateflower No, I've worked...but haven't earned much of an income since we've been together. He has been financially supporting me. 1 year ago
    • brooklynblue maybe spend a little money on seeing a mediator first. where do u live ? 1 year ago
      • lateflower NY. Wouldn't a mediator only come into play after I've filed? At this stage, I have just met with one lawyer for a consult, who didn't really impress me, so I am looking to consult with a few others who maybe have different styles so that I can see which one feels right. 1 year ago
        • TDOG no. you can use a mediator... to start the process without the cost and divisiveness of lawyers. 1 year ago
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