I'm in the beginning stages, have not filed for divorce yet but it's imminent. Meeting with different lawyers getting an idea of what ducks need to be in a row, timelines, etc. On the one hand I want a cutthroat lawyer who is going to help me get the most out of the financial arrangement-lest I forget that soon I'll be a single mom with two little kids. I've got to look out for myself, also. If I go down that path, I presume it will be harder and longer to get to a place of co-parenting afterwards that is civil. If I go with someone less aggressive I feel like I am selling myself short, which is kind of what this divorce is helping me work past in the bigger picture. When you're dealing with an ex who just isn't capable of addressing that you have needs, (again another major factor for the split) does being nice even matter at all (for the sake of the kids?) Anyone have an experience where they had aggressive representation and still managed to eventually get to a civil place with the ex?