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28yanddone
I'm new here, I have been on reddit deadbedrooms for some time. Married for 28 years to a wife that therapists believe has a personality disorder. I have been through some pretty intense tongue lashings that have basically killed any attraction to my wife at all. Put it this way, if she acted the way she has throughout this 28 year marriage even a little on the second date, there absolutely would not have been a third. We have raised three kids (youngest now 19), and I just want out. She has been away a couple of weekends for various things and I can't believe how much I enjoy being alone without someone bothering me. (I am an only child so being alone is actually pretty easy for me). Over the last ten years I have given up all my hobbies, all my friends, ( I have one guy that I talk to in another state) and am just miserable. I hate going home at night. I have told her that I am unhappy, and am pretty sure that she is unhappy. I have asked her for years to go to a therapist but she says "how could anyone who just went to school possibly know what I have been through, how could they help me". She has told me that if I wouldn't "make her angry" she wouldn't have to get mad at me and yell. I am just done, I haven't had sex in 8 years and and I want my life back. I told her last Saturday to find a therapist to talk to (I really want some help from a therapist in this split). I have seen a therapist myself, she went once and said "how can this woman who got divorced possibly save our marriage", when she knew I went to see the therapist by myself she would say "so how was your girlfriend" when I came home. If she doesn't come up with one soon, I'm just going to tell her that my unhappiness hasn't decreased and I would like to talk about a mediated divorce, to preserve the maximum amount of assets to split, with the hope that we can both move on and find a happier place in the time we have left.
Thanks for listening to my vent....