My Separation Phase 1: Eat, Sleep, Work and Play. When my wife told me that we would never have a romantic relationship ever after 11 years of marriage and 3 kids...I was crushed. Beautiful, intelligent and my best friend says "Never". I hid in the corner of the basement and sobbed for 5 minutes while she had a shower. Then I got dressed and went to work. I don't know what other people do but I've found that forcing myself to eat, taking naps, forcing myself to walk to work and connecting with the kids every day. After completely losing myself in this marriage for most of my adult life, I realize I always do everything for her. It's been very strange to do things just because I want to. I thought the marital equation was always 1 + 1 = 2. But I read an article stating it's more like 1 + 1 = 11. Two separate people.
It's very strange as I work with people with dementia and many have forgotten their marriage partners and live from one minute to the next. I have something to learn from that reality.
Does anyone have any ways of thinking or strategies that have helped them in the initial phases of separation? Any and all hints and suggestions are welcome.