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really pissed

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meh

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strangely happy

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  • Boogie So much regret. I've been in "marriage crisis" for about a year. I went through the process of ignoring what was happening, hoping it would go away. Finally, went through several marriage therapists that I fired because all they did was try to let me down easy because they knew she had mentally checked out. I finally get it. But a part of me continues to think she'll snap out of it. And I regret not listening to her years ago when she warned me. Maybe I've been checked out for years or I would have leaned in deeply. I just met with my mortgage guy, and I'm scheduled to meet with a realtor to get our house ready to sell. I have an attorney lined up for a collaborative divorce. Still living together, getting along the best we can. We don't have kids, probably part of the problem. We never mentally resolved our fertility problems. This bandaid has to be pulled off. I'm ready to get my life moving on. I'm glad to find this site so I can vent - it makes it feel better. For those finding this, give him/her a chance. Make sure they know what you mean and how serious it is unless things change. Listen carefully when the warnings come. Be ready to change. And work hard to love yourself. 9 years ago   *   4 replies
    • sicknessandhealth awesome post. thanks for sharing this. i found myself in a similar boat. it was too late. signs were ignored. the work wasn't done. and sadly, it was an ugly divorce because she continued to ignore the reality even as it was coming down on her like a ton of bricks. sure, there was plenty of blame to go around but the point here is that you cant revive a dead marriage. 9 years ago
      • ROB Jesus, this seems a common theme. I am guilty Of this and my wife found someone who gave her what she actually wanted from me. It's not that I wouldn't give her what she wanted it's just that I read the signs too late and thought she didn't want me!! Communication is the key to everything, and that's something I have learnt the hard way. I've also learnt that just because you've managed 20yrs together you need to get out of the rut and keep the passion fire burning. Listen, discuss and act! 9 years ago
        • exhusband I'm with Rob. it really is about communication.i left for the same reasons....too little too late. 9 years ago
    • Moving_On For a moment I thought my husband wrote this post :). I agree communication is key and both sides need to be willing to listen and admit that it takes two to tango. Best of luck to you 9 years ago
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