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  • TDOG terrified i left a "good man" that loved me, and will be all alone.... punished..... i left because although he is a good man, i was never truly in love with him or attracted to him. and i tried EVERYTHING.. 2 years ago   *   10 replies
    • brooklynblue it's so so so so so hard to leave a situation that is "okay" but not your truth. i get it. 2 years ago
    • RAN You made the right decision. 2 years ago
    • want2bhappy Trust your decision. You deserve the best in life, to be in love and loved. Both emotionally and physically. 2 years ago
    • chloe Oh boy, TDOG, can I relate. When things aren't "horrible" it's torture to make the decision to go for something better, especially if your partner is trying to convince you that things are good. I'm in your shoes exactly and after months of agonizing finally making the split. It's awful. For me it had to get to the point where I realized my misery over not being able to connect with him the way I - and he - wants was worse than the fear of being alone. But it's still so sucky and I still question myself daily. Hang in there and know you're not alone. I do think we have a cosmic duty to be true to ourselves. For some corny reason I kept having the phrase "the truth shall set you free" going through my head last week. 2 years ago
      • TDOG yes!!! someone also said to me "rising tides raise all ships".... which helps too... i think culturally we hear a lot of messaging about "the one" and how scarce love is..... which isn't true. 2 years ago
      • magnolia thank you for this. 2 years ago
    • magnolia yes. this is where i feel i am 2 years ago
    • chloe tdog, how do you feel about all this now? Your comment is where I am and it's so scary. Papers haven't been filed yet and I'm finding it really hard to keep pushing through these steps with him doubting my decision and me doubting my decision. I'm also afraid that what's "attractive" to me is the bad stuff - that part of why I'm not attracted to my husband is that he's too "safe." Have you found that dating has validated your decision? I've never experienced what it is I really want - passion and emotional intimacy and commitment all in one person and I get scared that it's a pipe dream. 1 year ago
      • TDOG oh @CHLOE!!! sorry for the delay... i missed this..... it's been 4 1/2 years since i physically moved out of my home with my ex-h and have been on my own. thankfully make enough money to support my self and 50% of the kids. i dated for awhile, and then i fell in love with someone and was with him for 3 years. it was a very turbulent/passionate relationship - the opposite of my marriage - and it's been over for 6months now. when i left my marriage, it wasnt so much to "find something else" but to experience myself as a whole adult in this world.... which is what i am doing right now. i do believe that when i am right with myself - a relationship with the right combination of passion/comfort will arrive. but as long as i am looking for someone else to proved that - it will elude me. that much i know is true. i don't know what your story was before you got married but i was very "lost" and my husband provided me with a lot of security and safety which isn't the right foundation for long-term partnership for me. it's kinda like i needed to "grow up" and go out on my own to lear who I really am. make sense ? bottom line - making it about ME and not about the person i am looking for really helps. 1 year ago
      • TDOG it took me a really long time to get thru the corrosive self-doubt. 1 year ago
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