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  • HappySouL Well, here I am. 14 years married, college sweethearts, and newly separated. We had grown our separate ways over the years, and as we came to be our true selves, we just weren’t able to connect anymore. Emotionally, intellectually, sexually.. everything was gone. I started noticing that something wasn’t right 5-6 years ago, but here I thought that he’s a great man... I can’t give that up! I went against everything my gut was telling me... because I couldn’t possibly break up my family for what I knew in my heart just wasn’t right. Needless to say, the last 5 years have been argument after argument, until I woke up one morning and I realized, I was no longer in love with him. He did not take things well, as I am the one who initiated it. So after 14 years married, 3 kids, 1 Separation already under our belts, therapy sessions that I went to alone, and so many exhausted days like feeling as if I failed as I wife, we are separated. And although it was so painful to watch him go, I can breath a little easier. I now know an understand relationships CAN end, and that it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, in order to continue growing into the next part of ourselves, we need to let things go that are no longer helping us flourish. Hardest decision I have ever had to make. But I’m still standing. And my kids are still smiling. And for that, I know I’ll be ok, and I know he will too. 10 months ago   *   4 replies
    • happier Proud of you. Being a child of divorced parents, albeit tough, we were happier they split. It was too obvious both parents were unhappy, so trust - you're doing the right thing for everyone involved. <3 10 months ago
      • HappySouL FEELINGFRAUDULENT: Thank you. It's been a trying two weeks of emotions and pain. I know I am doing the right thing. I always struggle with "Why was it so hard to make it work? or Why couldn't I have made it work?" But I guess I come back to, "I tried. for years. and nothing was able to get to where we both needed". I am sure time will allow us both to understand that we are better as co-parents. (We have been for years, after all!) I hope YOU are doing well too :) 10 months ago
    • Dazedconfused Im in a really similar boat. For together when we were teenagers, married 10 years, 3 kids. My husband has mental health issues which flared up for the last 4 years and effectively destroyed him and relationship. I've always been hoping that magically things will come right but we've been living separately a year now and it's been so hard but also such a relief. The kids are still smiling which is so important for me. I guess I need to move on with my life now, such a huge prospect. 9 months ago
      • HappySouL Hi Dazed - I know it’s hard. I guess what you have to weigh, is if your heart and mind are at more ease not being around him every day, or if it’s not. Some things are harder. I know. I still struggle having given it all up, and have to constantly remind myself why we got to where we are. It’s essy at times to see only the good and forget the bad. Truth is - he’s happier, and a better father now, than he was when we were married. So if anything positive comes out of this, it’s that! My kids ask questions at times, but they get through.,we often anticipate the worst, and it’s never really as bad as we think. You have charge of your life now - what a feeling ;) pm me if you’d like to talk more ❤️ 9 months ago
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