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  • GUNNER What's the best way to ask for a divorce? We re separated he lives downstairs in the house. Has a girlfriend he denies but I know about. He gets VERY angry when I brought it up. What's the best way?!? Help! 9 years ago   *   5 replies
    • RAN If he has anger issues, then maybe in public? Diner, hike, park? (Unless his temper can be so bad that even having other people around or being out in public isn't enough for him to restrain himself.) And in morning, or at least before alcohol is on board? Don't expect it will go well the first time...maybe he'll have to go away for an hour, a day, or a week. But then maybe the 2nd or 3rd time he'll soften. If he's involved with someone, then presumably he's not entirely happy in marriage either...but will initially react negatively to divorce idea because of shame at being found out, &/or ego, hassle, financial. But eventually he may see it's right also. And obviously if can go better if you're sympathetic, and say how it's best for him too (as opposed to cold & accusatory & ready for a fight). Another option might be to recruit a minister, a therapist, or some friend that HE trusts to be there for the discussion. 9 years ago
    • sicknessandhealth i wouldnt bring up his gf when bringing up the divorce or blame him in anyway. just ask him to have coffee, and say calmly and as lovingly as possible that you would like to move forward with the divorce process and that you would like to make an appointment with a mediator. then say, you can find one or offer to have him offer one up, and then see both mediators, and decide which one you like better. have somewhere to be after you have this conversation that ISNT home. 9 years ago
    • jimneycrochet just dont blame him. tell him what YOU want and dont make it his fault in any way. 9 years ago
      • GUNNER All good advice thanks guys. This site is so helpful. We re scratchy with each other so will try and show more kindness and get us on a level fitting before I do it. Know it's the right thing to do, but it's frightening but not more frightening than being in this same scenario in a years time. Appreciate your replies so much 9 years ago
    • dynamic "I want a divorce." End of story. There is nothing to discuss. A relationship an agreement. You no longer agree to be together in any capacity. Start the paperwork with our without his consent. 9 years ago
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