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  • Unsure Why does every argument (small or large) turn into him telling me to leave? Don't get me wrong, the way I'm treated I should but he knows I can't afford to and even when I try he gets me to come back, but just because I forgot to buy eggs? If I'm constantly told to leave it's no wonder I'm numb in this relationship. 3 years ago   *   8 replies
    • TIMBUKTU this sounds like an abusive addictive relationship. there are tons of books on this..... let me know if you want links... 3 years ago
      • Unsure I'm open to any advice 3 years ago
        • TIMBUKTU the issue is definitely NOT him. it's why you stay. therein lies the answer. there are no answers in his behavior and thinking, ONLY yours.. http://www.thetraumaqueen.com/?p=420 3 years ago
          • Unsure This was an interesting article but definitely not the stem of my issue. I think the fact that we have a child together and I have no family near by is a big part of me not leaving. 3 years ago
            • TDOG sorry @UNSURE but that doesn't really make sense. you can still have a child together and live in separate homes and co-parent. what does your family have to do with it? sounds like it might be time to be a big girl, and live on your own and co-parent with this dude. 3 years ago
            • Unsure I mentioned family because I don't know anyone else where I live.....that's all 3 years ago
            • Unsure And as I said I can't afford to move out now. I am a big girl but since injured recently I haven't been able to work 3 years ago
    • LAURAMIDDLE Me and my partner, who I am still living with now (happily), had this exact pattern for a period of time. I was still a student and couldn't afford my own place, and he was paying all the rent. He acted with a constant sense that I owed him something, and I wasn't allowed to put a toe out of line without being told to get out! At the time he was on a work contract that looked like it may not be renewed, had exams for a financial qualification and a sick parent. Although he wouldn't show any outward signs that he was emotionally not coping, I realised the way he was acting towards me was all about control. I was technically the only thing in his life at that time he felt he had power over. Could something like this be happening with your partner? I would end up walking away from him if he even remotely tried to start an argument, just shrug and say nothing. I made sure I had a really strong life and support system outside of our relationship and started going out more for drinks with friends (even if I just drank water!). You have to show him you can be happy and fine without him. I saved enough money so that I would be able to support myself for a short while on my own. I never had to leave, but him knowing that I was having a good life without him, and could go if I really needed to, soon put him in his place! Maybe you could stay with a friend for a week just to teach him a lesson? Don't let him hold this power over you! Good luck x 2 years ago
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