- anhsp Hi Crossreeds, I just read your original post and my situation is very similar - I'm married for what will be 17 years this year to a good man. We have 2 children together, but when I think back, there was never a strong (if any) sexual desire on my part. I always knew it was an issue, but I also thought it was me. When I originally married him, I was having doubts because of this issue, but I thought those feelings would come as we started our lives together. Unfortunately, it never did. Fast forward 10 years, and I realized that its not me, it was just never there from the beginning. I have talked to my husband about my feelings as I had to put everything on the table - I just couldn't keep it in any longer - I recently met this man I am wildly attracted to and it brought out these sexual feelings in me that have been missing for so long. Nothing has happened with this other guy yet, as I was just getting to know him on a friendly basis, but I feel so bad for my husband. I wish I could have theses feelings for him, but I can't....I have tried to see if there was anything there, but there's not on my end. You are correct in saying that its either there or it isn't. We are sleeping in separate bedrooms right now and are basically living as roommates. I would love to start dating this other person to see if there is anything there beyond the physical. I don't know him well enough yet to determine that. How do I tell my husband this? I can't live like this anymore - its an awful situation because he is a good father and a decent man.