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musicgirlcali
Also
Extremely exhausted from my current state of feeling trapped and ignored. Just got back from a trip to America , had a great time, saw good friends and got in some music and theater therapy. Made the most of everyday. Away from kids and husband. Looked into moving back and the costs, budgeting etc. husband is still resistant and refuses to compromise and try and make it work. I feel
Sick to my stomach and my
Kids are
Starting to notice the panic I am having about never getting out of here with them. Israel is on fire literally, assassination attempts and random acts of violence. Thank gd we live away from
Jerusalem but, our neighbors and friends work there daily. It is stressful enough to be a odds at home am also worry about safety and mayhem. It's the Middle East of course why would I expect
A peaceful Existence. My husband is having a grand old time with kids. Raising them the way he wants, not a care in the world as he is getting his way, he thinks if we have sex out communication problems will be solved. I say I cannot even think of having sex with Him when he is not agreeing to move back. I feel isolated and have very few good friends here which is also starting to affect my children's social life. They see other kids with friends and neighbors socializing and I feel ostracized and my not fitting in and husband lack of interest in kids socializing with others is taking a toll on my self esteem and ability to function. I am feeling hopeless and paralyzed and I know I need to take action I just can't yet. It sucks and I need to jump off . Anyone else have these social outcast experiences when their marriage sucked? How did the kids adapt to parents incapable of making their social life richer? I have active six year old boys in tons of activities but, making close friends seems to be a challenge . I am blaming myself. I just want to blink three times and click my heels and go back and start over . Childish . I know, but, my plans must include him and he is not budging so , a shared custody in two countries or me sucking it up and staying put? He wins then doesn't he! He will fucking win. Sorry for the rant. Nowhere else to feel safe venting this stuff. Thank g d for SV!