- womaninflux Hello all. I am new to this forum. I have been with my partner for 8 years. We are not married. We have two children. There has been emotional and verbal abuse since the birth of our first 5 years ago. I have also been emotionally abusive to him at times in retaliation. There was one episode where he shoved me with a door that my children witnessed. I'm going to sound like a cliché, but he is a really good father, dependable and loving, despite his anger issues. But when he gets angry, he has had outbursts that have diminished both my respect and attraction to him in tremendous ways. We have been in couples counseling for a year. He has "gotten better", but much damage has been done and I no longer find myself attracted to him or having much of an open heart. That being said, I am terrified to actually leave. I'm afraid of being a single parent and I am afraid to lose the idea of a family, as I am the child of divorce as well. When do you know when it's really time to go? How long do you try to heal? When I think of separating, I feel both relief and a paralyzing fear. I am on the fence and can't live this way much longer.