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  • regalone39 I need to leave this marriage. I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. The reason why I haven't left yet us really because of the debt we have. He's going to have very little discretionary income but has more resources and income to help him. I do not and make quite a bit less than him. My plan is to ask him to keep payingthe bills like my car payment, car insurance and cell phone bill rather than paying me to help with the kids. But there is credit card debt that I can't help with once I'm on my own. I'll have very little left over after my bills and groceries. I'm absolutely terrified about the financial aspect of everything. I'm not out to hurt him financially and have no vendettas. I just can't live like this anymore. It is possible to be lonely in a marriage. I can't imagine going like this for another 30-40 years. I was going to try and wait longer but when our son asked him the other day to go to his school carnival and he said no buddy, I'm exhausted. Only to come home with him gone, out drinking with his friends. This is typical behavior unless he's in his room (I've been sleeping on the couch for almost 2 years) playing video games. I can't take it anymore. I have no joy anymore. I'm so much happier when he's not home. I'm just scared of the financial fallout for when I leave. I live in NY state. Any helpful advice would be appreciated. 7 years ago   *   4 replies
    • TDOG being in a crappy dead marriage SUCKS. and so often it just comes down to finances. how long have you been married? what additional income can you bring in? 7 years ago
      • regalone39 We will be married 15 years in June, together 19 years. I will be able to manage on my own (it'll be tight) but will probably get a second job so I can put some $ in the bank. My bigger concern is the credit card debt we have (both cards in his name). I can't give him $ towards this debt. I was going to try and stay until some of it was paid down buy that will take at least another year. I can't continue living like this for that long. I've wanted out for a couple of years now. I'm going to be broke but I'd rather be broke and happy than living like this. I really should talk to a lawyer. This is absolutely terrifying but it's all I can think about. There has to be more to life than this. I deserve to be happy, damn it! 7 years ago
        • regalone39 Also, he was my first and only long-term relationship (I already had a young son from a teenage fling). It was comfortable and safe. I think that's where I made my mistake. I just thought marriage was the right thing to do. 7 years ago
          • regalone39 I don't miss him when he's gone either. I actually get upset when he comes home. Sometimes he reeks of booze and cigarettes but, nonetheless, I don't look forward to him coming home. Ever. I've had a glass of wine...apparently, I need to get out more. 7 years ago
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