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  • Cayman Completely new. I’ve been married 25 years. I don’t know what happened but I’m not happy. Haven’t been in a while. I’ve spoken to him about us. How we can go hours, days , even weeks w out talking. This isn’t a relationship. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not where I thought we would be after 25 years. I’m lonely. He’s fine scrolling and researching on his phone while I sit by in silence. It’s sad I know. I’m sad. 5 years ago   *   3 replies
    • crossreeds hi! How long have you been feeling this way? and is there any particular reason for your disconnection to your husband? I too recently realized my isolation/ loneliness (10 years in) and had to do some real introspection/soul-searching...while i do love and deeply care for my husband, i relate our issue to lack of physical attraction (on my end) resulting in a sexless relationship. Wonderful man, but sex/physical relationship has never been there and I'm unsure that it ever can be. Now, I'm faced with the dilemma...do i stay or go? Can i remain in a physically and somewhat emotionally disconnected marriage? is there any hope for things to improve? .....Hopefully you can get to the bottom of the issue for you guys and determine whether or not your marriage can be improved /helped. 5 years ago
      • Cayman O asked myself those same questions and realized that I shouldn’t have to give up what I want out of life because I’m afraid of leaving him but I’m more afraid of being alone like this. I minus well be by myself than in a lonely marriage. I’ve spoken to him about his lack of communicating, lack of conversation, lack of similar interests. He doesn’t seem to think there is anything wrong w it but I do. Right now I’m sitting in a car w a new puppy for the kids and we haven’t spoken. I’ve tested this out many times, hoping for a change. Even bringing up the conversation of the lack of conversation doesn’t light or spark any interest in him. And to me that’s the most hurtful thing. The silence. The lack of communication. I will probably seek therapy. With or without him I haven’t decided. And therapy for what? To fix it? To change it? To divorce? To try to separate? I’m not sure. I already asked for a separate credit card for kid expenses. I’ve been reading that if we were to have separate custody of the kids it’s goi to keep the kids expenses on its own about so that the parents can see and agree on the kid expenses together. 5 years ago
        • crossreeds Sounds like individual counseling/therapy would be a good start. I have been very confused/puzzled in my situation and therapy has helped me gain a little more insight at least. So much runs through our heads on a daily basis, it's hard to process it all! (is for me, at least). Even if you don't really know what all to address at this point, it can be helpful in finding a place to start. 5 years ago
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