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  • Muddle Hi all, I have been wife my wife for 15 years and coming up 10 years married, we have two children and have lived together for the majority of the time we have been together. Over the past 2-3 years our lives have become more independent and our hobbies/interests are not matched, we spend more time apart than together and feels like we are more housemates. We have been talking openly and honestly for the past 3 months about our future and we actively wanted to move this forward in which ever way we feel would make us happy. After Christmas we went to see a counsellor (second time in our marriage and previous experience was not great) and we decided to trial separation for a month. I moved out, my wife with the children in the marital home and we took it in turns every other weekend with the children. I moved back in after the month and this is where we currently are, we have talked very openly about it and both enjoyed the space and freedom to do what we wanted and when we wanted, it worked in terms of a trial in seeing that we could enjoy that type of life. If we both had to call it today we both say that we would likely choose separation, we are both on that side of the fence. Though the hesitation is that we like each other, we are best friends, we don't argue, we don't annoy each other (more than the usual) and it is not unpleasant to be around each other. The more telling sign is that we don't feel passionately enough to try and fix it which probably says a lot. Has anyone been in similar, how did you move it forward, did you split? Any advice, please! Are we just scared of hurting each other. 6 years ago   *   2 replies
    • 2bhonest I don't think this site has been very active lately... your story seems to be a rather uncommon situation based on what I've read on this site, and far different from my own situation so far. If you are both in agreement with wanting to split, wanting to stay friends, where is the fear of hurting each other coming in? Maybe I don't understand since this is not my experience. It sounds like you are both very thoughtful in your decisions, doing a trial split, and able to be open about your feelings without fear of hurting one another. In your writing, it also sounds like you have a clear idea of what you want/need, and are writing from a place of clarity and can trust your instincts. Seems like it is a best case scenario. Sorry I don't have better feedback, good luck! 6 years ago
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