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chloe
Hi guys, I'm new here and could use some input on how long it took you to come to the decision to divorce, whether you felt like you rushed it, and if so, did you regret that? A bit about me: married 11 years, 2 young kids. My husband and I get along really well, share a lot in common, but have had major issues with our sex life almost from the beginning. Our marriage has been largely sexless and passionless, which has caused tons of hurt on my part, feeling rejected, gradually shutting down over time. Although I'm also finally admitting to myself that I don't know that I ever really felt that strong spark towards him, either. I do not feel sexually attracted to him any more, and whatever feeling might have once been there in that area was never super strong. (I think I believed at the time that we got married that you couldn't really have the passion and the emotional stability, and felt like I had to choose.) I also recently found out that during all these years when he was saying that he "just didn't have that high of a libido anymore," he was looking at porn several times a week. That was another major blow to my trust in that department. I don't know why he never made me a priority or fought for me. Of course, now that I'm ready to throw in the towel, he's ready to do "anything" to save the marriage. My heart is feeling like it can't be saved, but we're still doing counseling. We're also starting a trial separation. I just don't know how long I can live in this hell of limbo, but I don't want to rush into a decision that I may regret. Second-guessing myself about a thousand times a day. Thanks in advance for any thoughts!!