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  • strugglecity How important is sex to you? Is it worth it if it's the only good thing about the relationship? 9 years ago   *   12 replies
    • london I think sex was the only thing that kept us together. We would argue all day and as soon as night time came, we would have sex and sleep back to back. The next morning we would go back to hating each other. Even now that we're broken up, we still sleep together. I think it's cause I don't want to start something new with someone else. I don't want to start the dating process all over again UGH 9 years ago
      • strugglecity I feel you there! It sucks to have to go back to the beginning because everyone is so perfect at the beginning. I wish when people started dating we could get a glimpse of what they'll be like down the road when we both actually feel comfortable with one another, so we don't put in all the honeymoon phase work for nothing. 9 years ago
        • dynamic We always have a glimpse of what people are like in the future. The question is do we want to see it? Are we willing to take the time to see and acknowledge what we see? Looking back hindsight, we accept that we did notice the very small suppressed details...most of the time. In terms of sex, if it's the only thing that's good then all you have is a sexual relationship, not a relationship. Good safe (as in trust) sex is good sex. Therefore you will continue having sex with your ex (extremely common) until you eventually move on. The only issue is that you're likely wasting time if you're not also dating others. You are wasting time not moving on because I'd bet money that he has and will take the safe sex too. Life is short and looking back, just like in seeing the cracks in that seemingly "perfect" person, you see that you wasted a lot of time. "Go through life with open hands" ~some monk in a mountain somewhere. 9 years ago
        • Downtherabbithole That's why on every first date I go on I make sure to rip a very loud fart. Just got to "keep it real." 9 years ago
      • FAUXHOUSEWIFE I also still sleep with my I think it's a good idea, no. Can I help myself because it's there and it's good, no. 9 years ago
      • metoday2015 many exes sleep together because is safe. You know what to expect and you don't have to face the possibility of rejection by someone else. But... for how long will you do this? you could be missing out on something better. after all you broke up for a reason, so we keep the tie of sex? You could be having better sex with someone you actually want to spend time with and have sex with. Unless, you are thinking of reconciling. 9 years ago
    • BeautyQueen sex has not kept us together, but apart. I think sex complicates things a lot and while I loveeee the intimacy me and my partner share, I think that a lot of what he does and thinks about is the sex. I'm not really wrapped up in all of that so it's gotten us into some pretty odd situations. 9 years ago
      • anon13 Most folks prob have the opposite problem, right? Sexual attraction matters. People you like but don't have to have sex with are called "friends." 8 years ago
    • eloisemay I look at sex as one of the ingredients to a successful relationship. It's like the sugar in the brownies. You can't eat brownies that are mostly or only sugar. Way too sweet and how is that going to sustain you? Likewise, if you're eating brownies without the sugar...hmmm...then why are you eating the brownie? Why not just eat broccoli? Unfortunately, I find that most of my relationships, and from what friends have told me, are missing key ingredients or the ratio is all wrong. From past experience, if you're still sleeping with an ex who is wrong for you, then you have very little chance of moving past that relationship. It's tough though to give up what's good and familiar. Be gentle with yourself. 7 years ago
    • crossreeds For me, i didn't think it was really that important....i'd had very few sexual experiences prior to meeting and dating my husband (in my early 20's) and just didn't feel that attraction/sexual chemistry was at the top of the list for me...i chose a safe man in whom i knew i could trust wholeheartedly and have a comfortable life with. Then, ten years into the marriage i met someone.......someone i was/am very very attracted to not only physically, but also emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. It began as a friendship/emotional affair and I never intended on it going further....but the physical attraction was just too intense ...something i have been missing in my marriage. I know thats what pushed me over the edge to cheat (physically)..... I am shattered that i did not realize my lack of attraction to my husband much sooner...very sad that it took meeting and becoming involved with someone else to bring it to the surface for me. Just a word of warning......make sure that there is some sort of sexual/physical chemistry there BEFORE you marry....or else you might have it (lack thereof) come back to bite you in the ass a decade later, like it did me! 5 years ago
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