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splitter
i am considering ending my marriage. i just cannot live with a man who i dont want to have sex with and i feel like is my brother or parent. does anyone have experience with this? i feel TERRIBLE... and like no one understands how soul-killing it is to be in a marriage with zero passion.
9 years ago * 6 replies
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anonymous1 OMG @SPLITTER you are me. seriously. no one understood why i wanted to divorce. i still wanted to co-parent but just couldn't bear being in a traditional marriage for one more second. 9 years ago User reported
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breakfree @SPLITTER, I understand completely, it's exactly where I'm at right now. I have no desire to have sex with my husband and I've been yo-yoing with this for over three years, though it didn't become really bad until our honeymoon. Seeing your post is what made me create a splitsville account; I didn't think there was anybody else out there experiencing the same thing. 9 years ago User reported
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SVONE i had a similar experience. i married my husband for emotional security in my late 20s when i really needed it. i didnt really care about sex, i just wanted to be safe and have a nice home. i came from a turbulent background and my relationship with him felt very safe. i phoned the sex in because that is what is expected but i wasnt really "into" it. 9 years ago User reported
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splitter @BREAKFREE.... just wrote to you above... wonder why on honeymoon it went south? 9 years ago User reported
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BUTTERFLYINHAIR I have been married for 8 years. It has been hell looking after him as if I am traveling through a red light everyday. I am not sure what is going on with men and women today. We try to be everything to hold on to a man. I was told I was enabling him. And that he was not a real man. But the lights did not come on until another man helped me emotionally get stronger and showed me that I had accepted a boy when I wanted a man. That I was waiting for a boy to become a man. To top all of the stress and strain I went through troubleshooting all of his mistakes and money problems he cheated. My husband could lie with remarkable skills. I was actually floored by the deception because he begged me so many times to stick by him and he was not the hot one in bed and went into a coma after ten minutes. When he continues to beg me to stay with him even after cheating and wanting to keep the other woman also, a blaring light went off. He could not even pay my bills. He is a child that may never become a man. Another thing is that he was the couch potato sleeper sex once in a while slacker. I am the goddess he could never keep up with. I am the educated one that was his figure out everything girl. But damn my mother had taught me how keep forgiving. I never thought that marrying and uneducated man would keep me educated and him uneducated; the predatory children he will remain. I am tired of managing his bottle feeding while wait for him to learn how to drink from a glass without spilling milk and pretending he can stay awake to write a check. It feels good to be in shape and still very pretty at 50 with near zero sighs of aging on my face. And you should see him crying that I recognize that I am enjoying the new gazes when before I would turn my head. He banged the wrong woman. He got that message. 9 years ago User reported
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crossreeds This is my exact situation and i just don't know what to do.... i know my family will think I've absolultey, positively lost my mind....as will everyone else....because he is SUCH a great guy. I don't think anyone will understand....but i guess i shouldn't really make that a determining factor. I just want to be happy/fulfilled in my core relationship. It's just SO hard to justify leaving someone who has "done nothing wrong".....but you just lack attraction and connection with that person. I have had a very serious talk with my husband (about 5 months ago) and we decided then that we would just give it some time and work on strengthening our marriage....and id say maybe our communication has improved some, but there is still that huge pink elephant in the room (no desire to be with him physically...any more than just cuddling). It feels like i am married to a really good friend, as we have seldom had sex throughout the course of our marriage. I'm just getting to a point where i feel as though that just isn't going to be enough for me anymore, despite the very comfortable life he has provided me with. I am trying to muster the willpower and courage to be able to provide for myself (i.e. find a job...fortunately i have a professional degree) and strongly consider a separation to start. Any additional advice would be much appreciated! 4 years ago User reported
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