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AMpr411
I would like to know how I should handle my situation: Im trapped with my BF in an almost complete destroyed relationship and I need still to be in his house, because I don't have the source to be on my own. I have been tried to be open honest with him, but he is recovering after a rehab situation, so speak with him its still not easy. Im looking for jobs and how to be independent again, I don't have any family or friends because I moved here from another country. What would you do in my situation?
9 years ago * 18 replies
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Danni girl have you tried to talk to him about having an open relationship? You both do what you have to make rent and cook and clean but you see other ppl on the side, until you can figure out whats your next step? 9 years ago User reported
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AMpr411 Yes I tried it, but he still has hopes and he is a very sensitive person and because his additions in the past he cant think emotionally clear. Also he is the one bringing all the money to the house, because I moved from another state and I left my business and everything to be with him and with the dream to start all over with him here, but things turned completely different. 9 years ago User reported
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Danni girl That sound like a really messy situation! I hope you can figure things out and find peace and happiness... 9 years ago User reported
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Happyhesgone I'm so sorry, AMPR. My ex was an alcoholic who went to rehab. But recovery really is an ongoing thing (you're never 'recovered'), and what I learned was that he really wasn't a very nice person to ME, even when sober. It's really rough when you don't have the resources. I'd just try to keep looking for a job (easier said than done, I know), or look into education possibilities. I was a SAHM, so I understand. I eventually got up the courage to end the marriage (and it was a looooooooong eventually), and I went back to school to finish my degree. Look for the possibilities. You're not married to him. You just need to find your way out of an unhealthy relationship. :-) 9 years ago User reported
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thenooge I agree. Just keep your head down and focus on getting a job so you can be independent if you want to be. You won't be "trapped" forever. You could always rent a room or a small apartment, whatever you can afford, if you really want to get out of a bad situation. 9 years ago User reported
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AMpr411 Thanks danni and happyhesgone... I look forward everyday to find my place in every way.. Its so helpful so share with other people that are or were in similar situations. Thanks!! 9 years ago User reported
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Danni girl I know that having ppl to talk to that actually are or have experienced the same things your going through is such a release! and to just be able to express your side without being judged or sides bein took is awesome! 9 years ago User reported
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AMpr411 I was going to ALANON.. but then I stopped going because I know I have a financial situation, I care about him, but I know he is not the type of man for me. I talk to friends but then I find myself repeating same type of problems with him, and I know I'm done. I moved out few months ago, I was working with a friend of him and then the guy just fired me, so I was in a rented room without a job. that's why I always have been a entrepreneur I do by myself and nobody can just fired me with or without a reason(like in my case) 9 years ago User reported
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dusty1106 I know that this may seem like a BIG step backwards, but have you thought about getting in touch with family for help, maybe even a place to go? 9 years ago User reported
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AMpr411 Dusty1106, I would love to have family where to go.. I'm in CA by myself..my family and friends live in other countries and states. I wont mind to take that step to jump back in my independent life.. 9 years ago User reported
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Stacy Are you unemployed at the moment? Maybe it would be worth it to contact a family member in another state and go there to start over? You sound open to the idea, and if there isn't much else keeping you in CA, moving away might be the quickest solution for you? 9 years ago User reported
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Mr. Mag 357 YOU are definitely in a tough position but what it's showing is that you're on the brink of awesome if you take the first step on faith. I know you are an attractive woman and I know that you can charm a potential employer (maybe not your dream job, but enough to live comfortably) if you can charm a recovering addict. What he needs most isn't limited to physical form therefore you can move on with your life without destroying his if hes serious about recovery. If he holds you hostage for his "sanity" he's not where he needs to be anyway. Listen, LOOK FOR A JOB. GO GET THAT JOB. GET A SHITTY PLACE TO STAY. HUSTLE IN THE REAL WORLD AND ONLINE. UPGRADE. FIND A BETTER MATE. FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOU AND LIFE IN GENERAL. The End. 9 years ago User reported
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AMpr411 Thanks Stacy.. yes I'm unemployed. Thanks Mr.Mag 357, I did it few months ago, I was sleeping in a rented room, in the floor, I don't mind, just to do the right thing for me and him. I will do it again. Thanks about your thoughts that I'm an attractive woman! Happy new year to all! 9 years ago User reported
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justdone There's always some other place to go. If you're a resident of another country, your passport can grant you access to international hostels as cheap as $10 a night in most major cities. Also check AirBNB for inexpensive living arrangements; sometimes you can get a nice room for $30/night. If you need work, try websites such as craigslist and taskrabbit for small jobs to make quick cash until you find something more permanent. 9 years ago User reported
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Tiffany Yes! Websites like Taskrabbit are awesome. There are also many juobs listed on Craigslist. Finding at least part-time or temporary work can help get you by as you're figuring out the rest of your life. :-) 9 years ago User reported
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superadmin empty 9 years ago User reported
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sam20 AMPR411- I think the best way to heal and move on is to start a new life completely without him. Force yourself out there and meet new people and make new friends that are completely your own. It's hard when all of your friends are mutual friends who you met through couples. You owe it to yourself to be happy! Do everything in your power to get to that point. Moving out and with a random roommate could be a great thing for you. It's your next adventure. 8 years ago User reported
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musicgirlcali I am also in another country with no family or friends. I have children and am Married and cannot leave either. The main advice people Have given me Is save money and try to make an arrangement with my husband so I can get out do the marriage and get on with our lives as co parents. If you don't want to be with him can you leave the country and go home? Do you want to stay in the new country? Will he financially help you to leave him or does he expect you to stay with him? I Wish you luck! Praying for both of us to have peace... 8 years ago User reported
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