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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. - P. J. O'Rourke

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  • Danni girl If I leave him I will feel soooooo selfish breaking up our family! He says he doesn't want to split up, but he wont talk about anything AT ALL!!! My 4yr old will be devastated and that will break my heart cuz she LOVES HIM SOOOOOOO MUCH! But on the other hand Im not myself cuz im a miserable wreck trying to take care of this family by myself and getting NO LOVE from him... what to do, what to do??? 10 years ago   *   10 replies
    • TDOG Oh god this sounds brutal. What have you guys done in terms of therapy or outside help to deal with this intimacy/communication issue? 10 years ago
    • TDOG It took me 2 years to pull the trigger finally. But if you are attracted to him and feel love for him there may be a way to deal with this communication block. 10 years ago
    • Happyhesgone Danni Girl, nothing like someone who doesn't want to split up but also won't talk to you, is there? My ex used to put a newspaper in front of his face when I wanted to talk and then said, "Go ahead; I'm listening." (I'm not about passive aggressive). I have the same question TDOG has. Any counseling? And how long have you guys been married? Was it always this way? 10 years ago
      • TIMBUKTU DANNI GIRL - dying to hear! need more info. god this stuff is so damn hard. 10 years ago
      • Danni girl been married 6yrs, and we have gone to therapy in the past and it helped but then the couple that we where going to ended up screwing us over BIG TIME so it kinda left a bad taste in our mouths... 10 years ago
    • melisam_1973 I'm with TDOG with therapy or outside help. I know it can be a long process but it may help in the end. 10 years ago
    • Casanova44 You need to ask him if he will seek couples therapy. His response to this will give you a deeper look into how he is feeling(Which you may not be taking as much consideration into as you should), I know you're very concerned about yourself right now and your child's well being, and much of that relies on the bond between you and your spouse. In the role of parent you are a teacher, remember. 10 years ago
    • MAxI Here's what I glean from male behavior; culture (at least in the US) has dictated that they are responsible for solving everything, from taking care of family, to paying bills, to keeping their kids safe, etc. They are taught not to cry growing up... to just 'suck it up'. So when stress and anxiety hit in adulthood, they tend to internalize completely. They don't share because they'v been taught not to. 10 years ago
      • brooklynblue outside help. follow directions from a pro... for real... this stff can be a minefield to navigate, and we just live once. 10 years ago
      • sam20 Fighting inside the household is sometimes worse for families than anything else. If peace can be obtained with distance, it's not a bad thing. 10 years ago
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