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  • AMpr411 Im feeling desperate with the life I have at present...What do you think I should do with my BF(we live together), we are having a lot of problems, no intimacy and our faith in this relation is kinda gone, he still ask me for advises about his son or the problems that he has..and I cant avoid tell him how I would do it, but them he get stress out or upset with the things I tell him, so should I just avoid any of those communications? Can anyone tell me a good way to handle this? Thank you so much. 10 years ago   *   7 replies
    • Danni girl Sometimes its better to just let him know that you would just rather not get in the middle of things with him and his son... because if your advice is took wrong or excepted an things go wrong when your advice is followed, you don't want to be blamed... I would explain that your always here to be a shoulder to lean on and a ear for listening but don't want to make any more suggestions... 10 years ago
    • TIMBUKTU i am all for detachment when someone is being slightly insane or abusive or belligerent. i am also learning a lot about how my need to regulate others' behavior or "point things out" to my partner is super unproductive and can be contributing to the problem. is he in therapy? 10 years ago
    • Daryll I agree with trying to separate from being an "advice giver" at this point. It sounds like the problems are too big for you and whatever is going on is just a symptom of larger problems he sounds like he is having. It doesn't appear he can cope very well and it comes back to you and your relationship. It does sound like he needs individual therapy and you might also benefit from some couples therapy. 10 years ago
    • AMpr411 Thanks you guys! He is not going to therapy, he goes to AA meetings, we tried couples therapy but didn't work out that well, and also I was determined at that point to move out, which I did but then I lose my job and I needed to move back with him.. Crazy but a hard reality.. He is a nice person but emotionally very unstable for all the process he is passing through, and I love myself enough to keep accepting a roller coaster relationship, but its not that easy without support for a woman with just 2 years in this country. And more when I have been independent with my own business all my life. 10 years ago
    • thenooge It seems like you don't want to be in the relationship anymore but you feel like you are stuck. That's not really a healthy place to be. Would you rather live with a friend or a stranger or something than just stick around in a relationship because of financial reasons? 10 years ago
      • AMpr411 Thenooge, yes I would rather to live with a friend or roommates (thing that I did, but after loosing a job I could support the expenses) I haven't never compromised my life being with anyone just because financial reasons, I'm working to have enough money to make the change. Easy or not I know its the right decision. Thanks for your sharing. :) 10 years ago
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