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Conflicted1
Im married. I am not physically or emotionally attracted to my husband. He is no fun. I dont enjoy spending time with him. Everything we do together ends up being an argument. He is very defensive! Sarcasm is lost on him. He will take it personal and respond with defensive comments.
I dont enjoy sex with him either. I do not feel that he understands me, cherishes me, appreciates me for who i truly am.
This is my second marriage. I was married and divorced by the time i was 25. I spent 10 years as a single mom. I dated, and I waited. I was determined not to make the same mistake again. I thought I had found a good one this time around, but I am now feeling duped. He isnt the man I thought he was. He has admitted that he was trying to be the perfect man for me before we got married. I feel fooled and Im pissed that I let him pull the wool over my eyes.
I have 2 year old daughter with him and im devastated at the thought of putting her through what my son went through. Its been very hard for him to be pulled in two directions.
**sigh** What to do?! I feel very stuck. Ive given up my work to stay home with my daughter, so I do not have income. I can definitely get back to work if I need to, but im also concerned about custody because my husband will be retired in the next couple years. It was SO hard having 50/50 custody with my son. Im afraid my husband would try to take custody of my daughter since he wont be full time in the work force.
Stuck stuck stuck. Trying to cope with the situation, but I feel the tension and separation building with each passing day. Any advice? Insights?