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brooklynblue
my ex-h and i are thinking about taking our kids on a trip together in april. i just told me bf and he is a little bummed as he thought that maybe we could do something together with each of our sets of kids. seems like doing this with my ex-h for our kids would be a huge gift to them... thoughts?
10 years ago * 9 replies
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SallyAlexis It is a really nice thing that you are trying to do here, but it may be confusing to the kids. If you are truly starting over with another person I think that it is best to do that. Just my opinion. When my ex and I were not divorced, just separate, we tried this. There was too much sexual tension, and the kids felt it. 10 years ago User reported
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brooklynblue my ex-h and i have ZERO sexual tension.... never have... thus my D. 10 years ago User reported
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AMpr411 I'm agree with sallyalexis.. I think its a great idea but may be if you hadn't a BF, I don’t think its the right decision traveling just with your ex, why don't you include your BF and his kids on the trip? Sounds like you and your ex are very open to be friendly, so in this way your kids wont be confused or having wrong ideas that may be you are trying to get back together as a couple and family, and if you BF can handle it will be an ideal plan. Good luck. 10 years ago User reported
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Daryll Don't know how long you have been divorced much less with the current boyfriend. I don't off hand see why you and bf can't do something else together at a later date. If he is worried about what you and ex might do on the trip, despite your assurances, that is something he needs to work on. In terms of the trip being confusing or damaging to your kids, I don't know all the circumstances of your divorce, so hard to say. 10 years ago User reported
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mccoytammi@gmail.com I agree with SALLYALEXIS & AMPR411......and maybe if you had discussed it with the BF first since that's the person your in relationship with now, would have made a difference. He could have told you then that he wanted to travel with you and the kids. Not sure how old the kids are and I understand the "gift" your trying to provide but they must know that you're not with their father anymore and kids are surprisingly able to handle situations, sometimes better than "we" can. Its time to start traveling with the person your with now and let dad make travel time with kids we has them.. I'm sure your BF understands that you and the ex have to make decisions about the kids, but traveling w/ex hmmmm my humble opinion not good. Good Luck 10 years ago User reported
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thenooge How long have you been divorced? I agree with people who are saying that it's probably not a great idea to travel with the kids and ex-husband. It's hard to say for sure, but I would guess that the kids might get the wrong idea about their parents' relationship. Maybe 5+ years after you've been split up you could try something like that... after the kids really understand what's going on. I guess it kind of depends too on how old the kids are. 10 years ago User reported
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Unsure If you can do it I think you should, especially for the kids 10 years ago User reported
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Downtherabbithole I don't know. I have tried this and I just can't. Do your kids want to see you get back together? A whole trip? Really, that's a little much. I feel like a day out or dinner is fine etc but how long until you start to get under each other's skin? You should have your BF go with you either way. 10 years ago User reported
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SHANNONOW What did you wind up doing? My ex and I do stuff often with kids - day trips mostly. Last summer I invited him to my week long Montauk vacay with kids right before school started. The whole thing was already paid for and he hadn't had a vacay and thought it would be nice for all of us. My lover suggested bringing the ex, thought he might be helpful. He wasn't. He had a great vacation, napping everyday, meditating, sleeping in while I made coffee and got kids bfast. I had to sit him down and explain that since he wasn't helping financially on the trip, perhaps he could help in other ways. It was annoying that I had to spell it out. He's more helpful now and I avoid long trips. 9 years ago User reported
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