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  • evpnyc Started to date a great guy after a long time single. We've been dating about 5 months. He's got a 13 year old adopted son. Never thought I would become a step dad, yet it trying to look at it as an added bonus vs a obstacle. Challenge is spending more time together. How do we handle the sleepovers with the son home? I know the child has to come first, yet I've got needs too. 10 years ago   *   8 replies
    • 12345 is he with this son full-time or part of the time? i am with my kids half the time so my BF sleeps over when they aren't here. 10 years ago
    • alphabeta all relationships can be bonuses, doesnt need to be an obstacle. and if you see the kid as an obstacle - it will become a problem. 10 years ago
      • evpnyc Agree and working on the bonus part. 10 years ago
      • baronvonbare tough one. i know of a guy who made the rule "if I'm dating someone exclusively for 6 months then the kids can meet my partner." Perhaps a sleepover fits that rule? 10 years ago
        • evpnyc we're in the middle of the 4th month - heading into the 5th. Hmmmm. I think that may be enough. The child knows I'm more than just a friend, so it's just a matter of making it all seem natural, safe and non-threatening. 10 years ago
    • Unsure Whatever you do just don't try to sneak around him (for sleepovers) that's not a good idea and never works out. 10 years ago
    • Nizam403 Just ask when it should happen. I think staying at his house shouldn't be a problem and the age is perfect. My partner stays with me when I have my kids and I stay with him when mine are at their dad's and he has his son. A 13 year old has his own social life, doesn't have to be bathed, doesn't need spoon feeding and being a full time single parent can be incredibly lonely and isolating. 8 years ago
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