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What is your

really pissed

stressed out

sad as f&*k

cool as a cucumber


no comment

strangely happy

back in action

feeling amazing

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. - P. J. O'Rourke

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  • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR Well, I've done everything I need to do to leave but haven't yet. I've found a lawyer I like, straightened out my finances, and made arrangements with friends who have a mother-in-law apartment to stay there if I decide to ask for a trial separation. I haven't made my decision to do so yet because finally it seems like things might be getting better. It feels really good to know that I can leave but it also feels weird because for the first time in awhile I can imagine staying. 9 years ago   *   12 replies
    • Moving_On good luck to you. Hope u make it work. Saving a marriage is always a good thing 9 years ago
      • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR False hope, I suppose. I'm spending the night with friends tonight because she's being exceptionally verbally abusive--even sending me abusive texts. I think this is probably the point of no return. Feeling mostly numb at the moment. 9 years ago
          • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR Heading home tonight. Wish me luck... 9 years ago
            • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR We met with our marriage counselor today. My wife has agreed to increase her level of psychiatric care and start a day treatment program. I don't know whether it will help our marriage but I do hope it will help her. 9 years ago
            • RAN That's good news. If you split, much better that she's in some sort of supported environment and trying to work on her issues. It will help her detach better, and lessen guilt you might have in leaving a struggling individual. And if you stay together...she has an outlet for her aggression rather than you, and may begin some self-discovery that should be helpful. And, worst case scenario (at least for her.)..if she quits, and doesn't seek alternative help elsewhere, well – you've done what you can. 9 years ago
            • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR Well, I'm not holding my breath. She's now casting everything as my problem despite the fact that she's got such a significant mental health diagnosis that she's seeing a psychiatrist every week. 9 years ago
            • RAN It'll take time to her ship to right itself --- if it ever does. If she wants to get better and has the tools to do so, then this flailing early on in her treatment and self-discovery can be (eventually) overlooked, seen as normal rage response to this perceived threat to the wall she's put up separating her from a peaceful life. If she won't or can't get start getting better within a reasonable amount of time (eg, personality disorder, serious addiction), then in the meantime you've started charting your new life, divorce process and all, and you will find it easier to detach from her chaos. 9 years ago
            • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR My wife is starting her day treatment program tomorrow. I think things are pretty much beyond repair but I've committed to at least getting her into the higher level of care that she needs. 8 years ago
            • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR After a day of outpatient treatment she was kicked up to a week of inpatient therapy. In some strange way I'm relieved. I feel like it is an affirmation that my experiences of her behavior haven't been off base or that my expectations are unreasonable. Plus, this next week is kind of trial run for me as a single Dad, which should be a useful experience in and of itself. 8 years ago
            • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR Wife's coming home from her inpatient therapy today. Not sure what to think. The two main things I've learned in the last couple of weeks: she's been very verbally and emotional abusive; and parenting as a single Dad is easier than co-parenting with someone who is psychotic (clinically, not metaphorically). I've been told that she's in much better shape and is committed to changing her behavior. I'm very skeptical. I'm going to give things a crack and, in case they go poorly, I'm also setting up a meeting with an attorney. 8 years ago
            • PERILIOUSBEHAVIOR She was home for two days before she got into some drugs and showed up at day treatment high. She's been kicked back to inpatient for two more weeks. I'm going to be meeting with a lawyer soon to get the ball rolling and speaking with some friends about staying with them for awhile. 8 years ago
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