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  • Unsure When my husband and I argue I'm constantly reminded of by h I m of his exes and how they did things "right." This has gone on for over 10 years.......hasn't this been going on long enough? 10 years ago   *   10 replies
    • thenooge Why are they exes if they did things right? 10 years ago
      • Julie Anne I agree; if they did everything right, they wouldn't be ex's. Unless, they're the ones who did the leaving...maybe you should ask yourself why people always leave him. Maybe he's the one who does it all wrong??? He certainty shouldn't be comparing you to them. That's not healthy. 10 years ago
    • brooklynblue @unsure. EEEEEEWWWWW. i am hating that for you. YUCK. can you talk about how unproductive that is? he needs to look at himself and you can look at you. criticizing the other NEVER works. 10 years ago
    • Ronald He's an idiot, if his X was so perfect she wouldn;t be his X 10 years ago
    • Mr. Mag 357 You being the woman have all the power to show him how other men would be happy to "do things right" to make you happy...some women like us men "putting you in your place" but if thats all you you get out you two's interaction, there's nothing to stick around for. BTW, he's projecting on to you some thing he's insecure about on his end. As a man with a bunch of sisters and female friends, you can live again without that chain on you. Redefine yourself 10 years ago
      • Unsure I just need to learn how 10 years ago
        • SallyAlexis I have found that the less attention you give to bad behavior the less power it has. if you keep a cool head and do 'to get into the web things will probably improve. 10 years ago
    • dynamic This is a common situation but you are in an abusive relationship. We can talk about arguing and yada yada, but the comments said repeatedly are more important. It will only get worse unless you take action. The best one is get indifferent on him. It's in the ballpark of what SALLAYLEXIS is talking about. People would rather NOT lose something than to gain something. You are that thing he doesn't want to lose, however your engaging with his abusive actions will only make them worse over time. When a man is about to lose his woman, he changes because he wants to win. Its just how we are. In this case your only acting indifferent, because if you actually are it's time of a divorce. He currently has the upper hand mentally because he feels there are no true consequences for his action. There are a lot of other tactics but to not have a 5-page reply, use your womanly ways and get creative. He must know that it's very real that you'll leave him if he continues to abuse you. 10 years ago
    • ROSE why does he do that? Lundy Bancroft And don't be surprised if leaving or threatening to leave him doesn't change a damn things. Abusers rarely change / and if they do - it's for the worse. 10 years ago
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