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  • TDOG Why marry? Is marriage dead? 10 years ago   *   10 replies
    • TIMBUKTU it;s a mess because people marry for love, but then forget to address the socio-economic pact in a real way from the beginning , so as things get "real" later on down the road, the people in marriage arent sure what exactly they committed to, and can accumulate resentments etc. 10 years ago
    • 12345 it's really fucked up. takes about 15min to get married and 1-5 years and a tons of money and headaches to get divorced. should be the reverse. 10 years ago
    • mwaters i still believe in it but think you both have to believe in it for marriage to work. if someone's half-hearted, then the marriage will fail. it's simply too difficult to stay married unless both parties have an abiding, deeply felt sense of the sacrament. those with a cavalier attitude will end up with failed marriages and broken families. marriage isn't dead. but those who treasure it for the sacred pact it is are far fewer. 10 years ago
      • SallyAlexis I still believe in marriage if a family is planned, but not really for older people that have raised their families. Of course, there may be a economic advantage to being married. I think that two people can be committed without marriage. 10 years ago
    • Unsure So many people don't believe in marriage simply because they saw their own parents get divorced 10 years ago
      • erinnn disagree! marriage is really really hard. it's not a pre-conceived belief. i know tons of people with parents married 30-40-50 years.. it's really a choice we make and then at some point that choice becomes untenable because of another developmental need that must be met. 10 years ago
    • strugglecity I love the idea of marriage as a pact you make with a person. A promise that you make to them now that you love them so much that you'll love them and have sex with them when you're both old and gross and maybe fat. Then try to not get fat and try to not stop loving them. I think this requires a ton of work on both sides, but in the end if you remember what's important, it's worth it. Maybe I'm an idealist, but that's what I think. 10 years ago
    • BeautyQueen Marriage is not completely a mess- but I will say...times have changed. The notion of marriage and what it is made up of has completely changed these past few years....those who choose to marry are making a conscious decision to really give their all to relationships that are becoming increasingly harder to MAINTAIN . 10 years ago
    • dynamic Ahhh, marriage. The subject of the century. Is it dead? Has in changed too much? Have the perspectives and attitudes towards it changed too much? People like to say marriage is the "next step" in a relationship, but if we think about this, what were we doing before? A relationship has stages: puppy love, a little more serious, the proverbal "us" "we" (deindividuation) stage...marriage (full commitment)? So what were we before when we were not seeing or thinking about other people? Half committed? 95%? What is the difference in a relationship before and after a couple get's married? Ask newly weds, they'll tell you one thing. Ask people who who've been married 50 years they'll tell you another. Recently divorced couple? All different stories about the same concept called marriage. Everyone is correct when they use the term "belief" when talking about marriage because the facts say something else. But with belief we can ignore the facts that don't line up with our beliefs. But humans have been doing that for centuries, so it all doesn't matter in the end. I could give a lot of facts, studies and perspectives but people would only come back with belief and their experience which is almost meaningless because of the beliefs to back up an ancient idea. Then what follows is the topic devolving to religion. Is marriage dead? Do you want facts or fiction? 10 years ago
    • Nizam403 When you don't need someone for financial reasons, you live geographically close, joining households is physically not possible without selling your houses and you aren't planning on starting a family, I would say it is unnecessary. For me, anyway. 8 years ago
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